Tuesday, March 5, 2013 9:24 AM
i want
i want something meaningful
meaningful enough for me to breath
breath easy to never to gasp
gasp for what downfall may come
come down until the clouds crashing
crashing with painful disappointment
disappointment that brings out the tears
tears from my parents, my friends, myself.
i want something to hold on to
to that somebody that i want to be with
there has been a few names
names which never seem to get out of my mind
my mind seem to think i'm delusional
delusional to the point where i need help
help that seems i never seem to be open too.
i want to be somebody
somebody that makes up for everything
everything from the pain i've caused
to the howl of darkness and despair
despair that seems to always follow me around
around until i can't seem to even trust anybody anymore
anymore longer and i think i will break down again
again the cycle repeats itself.
i want to not be a failure
to not let everybody's hope down
down to which they seem to never will forgive me
me to which i will never forsake myself
myself that is all there is to be blame
blame should i fall and can't exceed expectations
expectations that i have set far above the clouds
clouds that yell at me i am able to do it
it, to which i don't deserved to be a FAILURE.
left;
9:24 AM
Wednesday, November 17, 2010 1:06 AM
Bored in Class
What needs fir addiction,
is the need to be addicted,
What matters most in love,
is the need to deal with the pain that comes after,
I see her in my hallway,
holding hands with another shadow,
I hear her laughing,
with such effect that tremble my knees,
I wish to abuse the time I have left,
I think I'm doing a damn good job of it,
I know it is wrong,
But as long as she continues her fun I'm fine,
Her substitute comes,
I opened back the door to let her in,
She tries her best to make me smile again,
I put my hand to wipe her tear and say no thanks.
left;
1:06 AM
Tuesday, October 19, 2010 10:54 PM
Dear Self
dear self,
please try to not be a drunk mess all the time,
arrange your life so you can live,
your not stuck,
you just suck at motivating yourself,
there is no help around, they're fakes,
it is just you that push yourself down,
we never see eye to eye,
but we agree that we need to walk away from this,
can't you hear the pounding of your soul,
hurting inside just wanting to move on,
don't you have enough time to hate yourself,
its taken you this long to realize,
your not the man that you were before,
promise yourself not to hurt yourself anymore,
a little scaring is fine,
make peace with your mind,
it'll do you more than good,
luck is a word used by liars,
you have to pick your shoulders up again,
go in a rage and just impressed,
store the anger away for another day,
use the depression to walk instead of crawl,
look up to the moon and ask for guidance,
it will give its answers via the stars,
wake up, stay up, and punch yourself,
bloody live coz your not dead yet.
left;
10:54 PM
Monday, October 4, 2010 4:30 AM
when, will, was
when i collapsed,
will you forget,
when i scream,
will you pretend,
all the months i look around,
will my angel come to the ground,
all the time i was lost,
will the moon guide me again,
am i here by faith,
or is it fate that reads me out loud,
all the constant bitter slang,
maybe it was wrong ever wrong,
let it be nothing more that an argument,
it wasn't me nor was it was the other,
i don't know why i am here,
all i know is i've became a disappointment,
can somebody tell me,
from these depths of nothingness,
doesn't anybody blame me,
for me showing my mistakes.